Pudge

Okay, I get it. I don’t write anything for six months and here I am, swaggering in just one week later, with a new post. I need to stop being so schizophrenic about my blogging schedule. But P is out of town and it’s just me and a big cup of coffee ice cream and I had news and, well, you get the picture.

Anyway, when people have asked me in the past how much Stella weighed I’ve always said, “About 65 pounds.” Which was “about” right. But in truth, she weighed 63ish. Why didn’t I say 63ish? Why, you ask, did I not tell the truth? In other words, you ask, why did I lie?

I guess a few reasons:

1. 65 is a round number. And 65 sounds like an important number. A milestone number. Like a when you retire kind of a number. And what your dog should weigh kind of a number.
2. 63 sounds like you really know your dog’s exact weight and it is my desire to appear to be as disinterested in my dog as she is in me. When’s the last time Stella ever asked me how much I weigh?
3. She’s so lean to begin with and a really picky eater that I would prefer she have maybe a half ounce to spare in case she decides to go on a hunger strike for a few days.

So you see I’ve had good reasons to lie approximate. But not anymore!

Today I went to the pet store to waste spend a few bucks on some new dog bedding (she’s been on the same flattened padding in her crate for 2+ years) and when I went to look at some stuff in the room where they have the scale, Stella actually just stepped on it voluntarily. Maybe she saw a fly buzz nearby. Or perhaps she smelled some German Shepherd that peed on the scale earlier in the day.

Or maybe, just maybe, she wanted to tell me something.

As I looked up at the digital reading I could not believe my eyes: 66 pounds. And change.

Since she never really eats with any vigor and in another life I strongly believe she was a smoker, it is heartening to see Stella actually gain what amounts to over three pounds.

So congratulations, dog. And I promise now to stop calling you Stellean.

In other late breaking canine news, I do have one other thing to share. The other day I was walking Stellean Stella alongside a creek. A tough looking band of fourth graders came cruising by. As we were passing, one kid grabbed another kid’s arm, pointed to Stella and said, “Yo. Check it out. That dog is hella tight!”

Yup, I got me a 66+ pound hella tight dog. And one major coffee ice cream buzz.