When growing up, I think most kids want one thing and one thing only: to fit in. Unfortunately, fitting in would never be in the cards for me—back then or back now or any space in between. However, I do find myself in an excruciatingly typical female situation these days.

It involves Pete and I playing tug of war with the remote control: he wants to watch the A’s and I (gasp) want to watch re-runs of Sex and the City (SATC.) In the end, we do the dance of compromise to satisfy the smack-down-the-gender-lines requirements of each player.

Anyway, the SATC re-run I seem to catch every time is the one where Big leaves for Napa. This episode, I’ve come to learn, is called “I Heart New York.” For their last night together, Big and Carrie go on a romantic horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park. Their date, however, is interrupted when Carrie gets a call that Miranda has gone into labor and she needs Carrie there-stat. Carrie leaves Big to be with Miranda and, the next morning, discovers that Big is gone. For good.

Maybe it’s Henry Mancini singing Moon River in the background. Or how an autumn leaf gracefully falls in front of Carrie as she’s walking in her pink chiffon layered Christian Loubitown shoes. But more than likely, it’s this voice over from Carrie that relentlessly brings me to my knees:


It was official. A new season had begun. Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

Then if that isn’t enough to bring on the water works, posted on the screen we see: “Dedicated to our city of New York, then, now and forever.”

This particular SATC re-run is hitting me hard right now because Stella’s bff Mia and Mia’s ball and chain, Mary, are pulling up stakes and heading to the hinterlands. And soon, just like Big, these two will be lumped into the “people go” category.

Mia and Stella nearly grew up together and, although they’ve morphed into very different dogs, they remind me of the ideal sister coupling. Mia, in Stella’s keenly observant, picky and intolerant eyes (and nose), can do no wrong. Mia can walk into Stella’s house, grab her bully stick, plop down on Stella’s pillow and Stella wouldn’t bat an eye.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt no other dog will occupy the same place for Stella. Ditto for me and Mia’s owner, Mary.

I used to be awful about people coming and going which is likely the culprit behind my fascination with this last scene of “I Heart New York.” In fact, I was so bad about it I subconsciously decided not to participate or acknowledge that either were happening in my life—people coming or going. But people, like seasons, can and do change. Myself included.

So with that, I’m writing my own voice over in my own blog. Imagine Mary, Mia, Stella and myself taking our last walk in the cemetery where we’d walked so many times before…

ME (V.O.)

It was official. A wonderful season was ending. Maybe our dogs help to make our fate. Without them, we wouldn’t be here right now. Perhaps if I never rescued my pup I would not have gotten to know such a fine person and her dog. Seasons change. People come and go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart and just an email, phone call or plane ride away.

Dedicated to Mary and Mia, then, now and forever.


2 Responses to “Big”

  1. marystel Says:

    There are so many wonderful memories that our furgirls have given to us. What luck that you were standing out on your step eating breakfast that day I walked by with my little pup, Mia about 4 years ago… You and Stella have been through our UPs and downs along the way. We will miss our walks in the cemmie when the girls run and we solve the world’s (or our world’s) problems. Location won’t affect BFF… who knows maybe it is time to start a doggy skype service! Thank you for all your love and support Sue. No worries come first blizzard, I will be knocking on your door!

    Hugs from Mary, licks from Mia

  2. buddythelargewendy winter Says:

    Your writing is amazing.

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