Archive for the ‘BFFs’ Category


June 11, 2011

When growing up, I think most kids want one thing and one thing only: to fit in. Unfortunately, fitting in would never be in the cards for me—back then or back now or any space in between. However, I do find myself in an excruciatingly typical female situation these days.

It involves Pete and I playing tug of war with the remote control: he wants to watch the A’s and I (gasp) want to watch re-runs of Sex and the City (SATC.) In the end, we do the dance of compromise to satisfy the smack-down-the-gender-lines requirements of each player.

Anyway, the SATC re-run I seem to catch every time is the one where Big leaves for Napa. This episode, I’ve come to learn, is called “I Heart New York.” For their last night together, Big and Carrie go on a romantic horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park. Their date, however, is interrupted when Carrie gets a call that Miranda has gone into labor and she needs Carrie there-stat. Carrie leaves Big to be with Miranda and, the next morning, discovers that Big is gone. For good.

Maybe it’s Henry Mancini singing Moon River in the background. Or how an autumn leaf gracefully falls in front of Carrie as she’s walking in her pink chiffon layered Christian Loubitown shoes. But more than likely, it’s this voice over from Carrie that relentlessly brings me to my knees:


It was official. A new season had begun. Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

Then if that isn’t enough to bring on the water works, posted on the screen we see: “Dedicated to our city of New York, then, now and forever.”

This particular SATC re-run is hitting me hard right now because Stella’s bff Mia and Mia’s ball and chain, Mary, are pulling up stakes and heading to the hinterlands. And soon, just like Big, these two will be lumped into the “people go” category.

Mia and Stella nearly grew up together and, although they’ve morphed into very different dogs, they remind me of the ideal sister coupling. Mia, in Stella’s keenly observant, picky and intolerant eyes (and nose), can do no wrong. Mia can walk into Stella’s house, grab her bully stick, plop down on Stella’s pillow and Stella wouldn’t bat an eye.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt no other dog will occupy the same place for Stella. Ditto for me and Mia’s owner, Mary.

I used to be awful about people coming and going which is likely the culprit behind my fascination with this last scene of “I Heart New York.” In fact, I was so bad about it I subconsciously decided not to participate or acknowledge that either were happening in my life—people coming or going. But people, like seasons, can and do change. Myself included.

So with that, I’m writing my own voice over in my own blog. Imagine Mary, Mia, Stella and myself taking our last walk in the cemetery where we’d walked so many times before…

ME (V.O.)

It was official. A wonderful season was ending. Maybe our dogs help to make our fate. Without them, we wouldn’t be here right now. Perhaps if I never rescued my pup I would not have gotten to know such a fine person and her dog. Seasons change. People come and go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart and just an email, phone call or plane ride away.

Dedicated to Mary and Mia, then, now and forever.


Sundance: 10/1/1994-11/7/2009

November 9, 2009

Sundance, the gentle pit that quietly stood by while Llewis lunged onto his back and dug his nails in, died last night. He just celebrated his quinceanera which, for any dog, let alone a pure bred pit, is a long life. Lucky for all parties involved, he spent every day with a family that loved and embraced him fully.

A few months back I asked this new acquaintance if he had a dog. He told me he was “tired of playing god” after he had to put his last dog down. That was it for him. It was just too painful to do again. When we reflect back on the number of days, months and years that our pets give us and weigh that against the grief of having to let them go, honestly, in the moment of loss, you can understand exactly what he meant. No, you think, maybe it wasn’t better to have loved and lost. Maybe it would be better to never have loved at all.

As for me, as much as I struggle with this issue, I hope that I can embrace what I have and face, at the time when I must, letting go. Because if I don’t, I myself will die having foregone the beauty of having all these wonderful souls enter my life because I feared losing them too much. So for now I hope that by being deeply sad, by allowing the grief to wash over, wave upon wave, eventually, I and we will heal.

And it is with this thought that I also hope that some day, when the waves have subsided, that my friend Sari may be able enjoy another wonderful dog in her life. I want this for her but for me too. I need to have some faith in the healing process of grief and renewal.

As for now, Sundance (aka Uncle Humper) leaves a big big hole in Sari, Alan and Reba’s hearts. And mine too. A gentle, stoic soul, the Mahatma Gandhi of pitbulls, he will be missed.

Happy Anthropomorphic Birthday

April 9, 2009

Eye hab me some induhgeshtyun. Thinkin’ it cud be dat tampon uh et earlier in duh day.

Shut yor pie hole, Stellean. Kan’t yoo see I’m habbin muh picksure took?


Mia Turned The Big Dos In February. Happy Belated!


January 12, 2009

Coming into this whole situation as a dog virgin, one of the most interesting things I’ve observed is that dogs really and truly have friends. It’s not a questionable theory. It’s not a hunch. It’s not a guess.

When a dog has a friend it’s as obvious as the nose on the face and the tail wagging happily off the rear. And once they’re friends, things really don’t change. It could be months and months without a meeting and then, BAM, it’s happy hour once again. The bond endures.

Stella has a number of good friends. As long as it’s off leash and there’s a hundred acre park, she’s fun at a party. Over time, if we begin to go to a place regularly Stella becomes well known and mostly well liked.

Friends can fall into different categories. There are acquaintances she knows but doesn’t hang with. There are good friends that she greets wholeheartedly but doesn’t play with (they’re not suitably matched in age or skill.) And there are other good friends that she does play with.

I personally was never was a believer in “best friends.” I’ve always thought that friends are different and there’s no one “best.” It all seemed pretty grammar school to me to have a best friend. Even when I was in grammar school it felt very grammar school.

But Stella believes otherwise and seems to have found herself a BFF in the form of a petite brown and white parti poodle. You could say “liver treats”, “let’s go for a thousand mile run in the park” or “dinner!!!” and you get zero reaction from Ms. Stella. But just say her BFF’s name, “Mia” and Stella’s face lights up like she’d just landed in a butcher shop with no butcher in sight.

Even more interesting is the relationship you develop with your BFF’s owner. I’ve been told it’s a lot like kids: you hope and pray that the parents’ of your kid’s BFF are people you like to hang out with. Otherwise you’re stuck with them, much like the classic horrible in-laws. Fortunately, Stella chose wisely and I ended up scoring right along with her.

This week we learned that Mia has Addison’s disease. And while it’s completely treatable it’s been an awful week of testing, more testing, injections, fluids and waiting and seeing. Mia, petitie to begin with, lost three pounds in five days. So we wait and see and hope she turns the corner.


1/22/09: Update! Mia has improved dramatically and is nearly 100% back to her bouncy poodle self. This road was rocky, however, so she’ll continue to be monitored for the next few months until things are definitely stable.