Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Half To Run

April 4, 2010

One of the reasons I wanted a Greyhound was because, despite the fact that I love to run, I did not want to feel obligated to run with my dog. Getting a retired racer would allow me to still have a dog but one that was lazy and would not require me to do much of anything except a few deep knee bends each day to collect turds.

But things changed: my favorite running partner and partner in life had ankle surgery. Despite the surgeon’s rosy predictions (you’ll be running in three weeks!) Pete never ran again. So I bought an iPod and it was Ira Glass and “This American Life” that kept me company for a while.

And then along came Stella. Since I couldn’t rescue an adult Grey (Llewis would not allow it), I wound up with a pup. Turns out Greyhound pups, like most any other pup, like to bound around a lot. And run. And run. And run. So at about six months I was taking Stella on four milers. At a year she could hang with 8’s on Sundays. And more recently when I decided to give the Oakland Half Marathon a shot, Stella was game, trotting alongside me on Sunday mornings down to the lake, around twice and back. Most of the time she was so quiet and so good on lead I honestly forgot I had a dog running with me.

Last weekend the final day arrived, the day I’d trained for and the day I’d been pretty nervous about. The run was hotter than I had anticipated. And harder than I anticipated. I kept thinking about the twenty bucks I’d shoved in my running shorts: enough for cab fare home when I bonked at the six mile mark. I kept thinking about the sag wagon and when it would roll around to pick me up.

But the twenty remained in my pocket. And I never did hook up with the sag wagon. Instead, Pete and Stella and Mary cheered me on at mile eleven and I went on to happily finish the run in a couple of hours.

Today, back to our usual run under the Redwood trees dripping with rain, I reflected: in the beginning, my vision was this big retired ex-racer who considered walking to the food bowl enough exertion. I’d never feel guilty for not getting him out. But the Universe had other plans. And instead I got something different. And something a lot the same–the same as me. I got a girl who is as happy to hit the trails, every time, all the time, as I am.


Bitter Critter

February 10, 2010

Ten percent of all proceeds from the sale of the following rap will go to GreyRap LLC. GRLLC was formed to promote Greyhound rap throughout the world. Note: Not intended for small children.

Bitter Critter


Furpile Hayes

she’s a bitter
a pisser
and a shitter
full a hate
won’t get in her crate
she’s a bitter
runt of the litter

waistline shaped
like Betty Rubble
cat in the yard
gonna be trouble
bitter critter
read about it on twitter

black and white
just like a cow
favorite dish
is rabbit kung pao


eat a fortune cookie
just for luck
today’s your day, dog,
you’ll whack a duck
cuz she’s a bitter
a pisser
and a shitter
layin in bed
pear shaped head
lack of contentment
full of resentment
read about it
on twitter

sittin in the car
payin her dues
turn on the radio
listen to the news

bitter critter
runt of the litter

why should she walk
when she can laze
cockroaching is
all the rage

bearing her teeth
upside down
mess with her
she’ll take you down

bitter critter
read about it twitter

sighthound sleepin
dreamin bout bones
rainin from heaven

legs and lungs
like she’s from Kenya
find her on Facebook
and she’ll friend yah

read about her on twitter
face is long
a furry bong
bitter critter
bitter critter
bitter critter…
[Fade to black–and white.]

Hounds Gone To Pot

June 2, 2009

In my spare time I love to paint pots. I figured after two years, the hound deserved a collection dedicated to her kind.



Haiku For A Rainy Day

February 16, 2009


It’s raining at last;
dog can hold it for hours
while daffodils drink.

Bark Obama

November 7, 2008

“Sasha and Malia, I love you more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that is coming to the White House.”

The President-elect has spoken. And to his most important constituency–his two daughters. Apparently a lot of other people are speaking too. When I checked today there were over 400 articles discussing the first dog. Malia has allergies so the pup needs to be hypoallergenic. They’re leaning towards a Golden Doodle. However, People Magazine is running a poll of which hypoallergenic dog they should get. Greys are included and currently hold 17% of the vote.

All’s not lost, however. NPR’s All Things Considered did a piece today on the burning first dog question and guess which dog got airtime?

Yup. We’ve got a lot of work to do.  An economy in a tailspin. Unemployment the highest it’s been in fourteen years. Two expensive wars.

But in politics as in everyday life, isn’t it great to just take a break from the heavy stuff and spend some time focusing on the houndies?

Vote early. Vote often. Vote Greyhoundie.

Kate Moss Never Looked This Good

June 22, 2008

Okay, finally, I’m posting a photo. Here’s my canine version of a super model at about a year old.  She’s an attractive beast, one that could potentially model. But don’t we all think our dogs could model? The dog could have mange, no teeth and a steady drip falling from its eye and still, no matter, ours is the one that should be on that Purina bag.

But maybe, just maybe, in a perfect world we’re right–all of us. Because in a perfect world we would worship age and imperfection just as much as we do their opposites.